Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
