Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
