Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
His nipple licking is glorious
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