VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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