You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Come share oat with me in your robe
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
