weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
