I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I have post one night stand depression
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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