That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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