I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
