I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
