k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
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