Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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