Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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