is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
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