omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize