I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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