wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
