she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
