just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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