bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
