is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
