It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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