What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
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