Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
not ubering you a puppy
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
