question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
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