dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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