Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize