Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
