She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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