I murdered the dance floor call the cops
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
