im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
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