I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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