i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
