he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
