i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
You can't motorboat a personality
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Randomize
