Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
