North Korea, Best Korea!
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Congratulations! We have a period
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