remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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