there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
