everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
