Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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