return my video game
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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