so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
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