i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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