We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
