he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
