i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
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