The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
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