u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I skipped work to stalk him.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Is this like a preordered booty call?
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Randomize
