I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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