how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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