i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
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