I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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