i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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