I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
