i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
