He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
