Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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