her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
