He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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