I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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