Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
