Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
