if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
