Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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