your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
